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[point]

Joke thread is right!

[bird_of_paradox]

Hang on, a boy named Su(zy)? That's a bit wonky.

[point]

"willy wonkerish"?

[point]

never mix chinese food and weed!

[suzycreamcheese]

never mix chinese food and weed!

Indian food (hot stuff, not that weak jal-frezi crap) is so much worse.

You're loving it one minute. Then sweating like fuck, then you rub your eyes. Then after an awful dream you wake with a horrid stone-over and spend the whole day running back and forth between the bathroom.

Real name isn't suzy btw, its a forum handle, much like yours probably isn't bird of paradox.

Plus, im not a boy, im a man, a real man, who drinks beer and watches cricket.

[point]

my mass "hot food" eating days are pretty much over. (rear end problems)

I still enjoy the occasional beer.

i still have some of this
http://www.chilliworld.com/SP6.asp?p_id=41
they discovered a chilli with a scoville rating of over 1 000 000 (about 3 times hotter than this sauce). my friend in Perth is trying to grow some!

[suzycreamcheese]

I used to work in an abbatoir near Gin-Gin. There was a chap over there with the nickname chiliman (he looked Flea from RHCP). He grew a bunch of scotch bonnet habanero, and they were fucking hot as shit.

Apparently, they can be anywhere to 1/10 to 1/3 as hot as this (assuming scoville is linear).

Mind you i dont like hot for the sake of hot. Hot sauce is pretty gross. But proper food made with a lot of chili is the shit.

My stomach takes it like a tank. I can eat raw birdseye for the sake of it, or raw wasabi, neither are tasty though.

[Bangers]

How do you make a dog wink?




You give it a stroke!

[backseat hysterical]

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years.
They had shared everything. They had talked about everything.
They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little
Old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had
Cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.
                                       

For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but
One day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said
She would not recover.

In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took
Down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside.
She agreed that it was time that he should know what was
In the box. When he opened it, he found two knitted dolls
And a stack of money totaling $95,000.

He asked her about the contents.

'When we were to be married,' she said, ' my grandmother told me
The secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that
If I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and knit a doll.'

The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two
Precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two
Times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with
Happiness.

'Honey,' he said, 'that explains the dolls, but what about all of this
money?
Where did it come from?'

'Oh,' she said, 'that's the money I made from selling the dolls.'

[point]

an old couple are sitting having breakfast on their 60th wedding aniversary. The old woman says "you know, 60 years ago we would've been sitting here, as teenagers, stark naked............lets re-live some old times"
so they get their kit off and are sitting there, and she says "you know, my tits are as hot for you today as the day we got married!"
he said "no wonder........ones in your coffee and the others in your oatmeal"!

[gulnare]

A baby seal walks into a club

[Cadbury]

A nurse is following a doctor around and the nurse says to the doctor "Doctor, there's a suppository behind your ear" so the doctor replies "ah, some bum must have my pencil then"

[Cadbury]

What's the difference between a moose and a ska band?









A moose has horns at the front and an asshole at the back and a ska band has the opposite.

(My singer loved this joke  )

[BASTARD]

why did snoop dog leave the house with an umbrella?













for the drizzle ma nizzle.

[Apples]

What is the definition of a will?































.....It's a dead give away

[Cadbury]

How many ska bands does it take to screw in a lightbulb?






Four, one to drop it and three to 'pick it up', 'pick it up', 'pick it up'

[Silas]

And then they go and blow each other in the carpark while wearing creepers.

[Cadbury]

You've clearly never been blown by a horn section

[Silas]

Hey that was good. Respect.

[phil_pekaar]

I'm opening a can of worms here but:

Q: How do you improve the air dynamics of a guitarist's car?



A: Remove the Dominos pizza delivery sign



Q: How do you know if a singer has broke up with his girlfriend?


A: He's homeless

hahaha gold!

[Apples]

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.


A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. 'My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?' 'Well,' says the vet, 'let's have a look at him' So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, 'I'm going to have to put him down.' 'What? Because he's cross-eyed? 'No, because he's really heavy'

[eponymous nontributor]

[Bangers]

I think my favourite dirty car graffiti I ever saw was "I wish my wife was this dirty" on the side of some filthy sedan.

[Faye Tality]

hahahah that is so amazing!! beyond words

[point]

obviously not!

[Silas]